I hate to admit this, but I was one of the kids who was picked on in junior high school. One of the things I was looking forward to in being an adult was not having to deal with bullies. The good news, as I have eventually learned, is that there are several ways to deal with bullies.

Regardless of their tactics, bullies derive their power from knowing nothing will be done. Your power lies in speaking out. Here are some suggestions:

During an outburst remain calm and confident. If your heartbeat doubles when someone raises their voice, try new ways to restore your blood pressure to normal levels. Instead of focusing on their personal criticism, tell yourself that ranting causes wrinkles and this person is sure to look 90 years old in another week or so. Maybe even picture them talking to you with no teeth.

Responding requires brevity. When addressing an issue for the first time, find an opportunity to bring it up when you are both in a calm state of mind. "Nancy, this morning when we were talking about the Jones account, you interrupted me several times as I tried to explain my approach. I need you to let me finish my thoughts when we talk together." Then, if it occurs during an outburst, you can briefly say, "Nancy, you interrupted me," then continue your sentence.

Separate the issue from the behavior. Let's say your boss yells at you when bringing up an issue of your repeated tardiness. When talking with your boss, acknowledge the merits of this issue before bringing up his or her behavior. For example, "When you are upset about something, I need you to talk to me in a calmer tone."

Be specific. Approaching a bully by saying "you need to be nice to people," will have little impact. Give examples. "Yesterday you barged into my office and threw my report on my desk. When my door is closed I would appreciate you knocking first and then sitting down before we talk."

Don't expect much initially. After letting them know what behavior you expect to see or expect to stop, you are not likely to hear anything resembling an apology. There may be a curt reply or silence, but you may notice a change in their approach when this situation comes up again.

Document the event. It is important to record the specific behavior that is unacceptable. If it was pounding a fist on your desk, making veiled threats, or a constant stream of criticism, keep a log of the date, time and what occurred. Include the names of witnesses to the event.

It is difficult to think on the spot if someone bullies you in front of others. Here are some strategies if you are being bullied during a group meeting:

Tactfully challenge assumptions. During John's presentation, Bossy Bob said the whole thing was a waste of time. John responded, "It sounds like you think this idea doesn't have any merit; do others agree with that?" (Use silence to your benefit.)

Recognize their ideas openly. If John were to move right into more of his presentation, Bossy Bob may feel he has been one-upped and become more hostile. Instead John could get Bob's buy-in and then continue. "Looks like we have different opinions about whether my idea will work. Why don't I continue, as I have some supportive data later on that you may be interested in hearing."

Bullies often use blanket statements. "The whole thing is a waste of time." "Your idea will never work." This can work to your advantage when you need group support. Maybe ask the group, "Do others think this idea will never work?"

If you feel you are being bullied, the campus offers several avenues of support through Mediation Services (297-4480), Employment Relations (752-6991), and Academic and Staff Assistance (752-2727).

Lora Barrett is the director of Mediation Services. You can contact her at 297-4480 or lcbarrett@ucdavis.edu.