It is hard to believe that I have been writing this column for the past 14 years. And it is even harder to believe that this will be my last column. Now I am writing to say, "thank you" and "goodbye."

I will retire at the end of December after 17 very fulfilling years at the Academic and Staff Assistance Program. These days I find myself thinking a lot about Warren Bridges and his book, Transitions. In it he says that for all changes in life, we experience three stages. In other words, there has to be an ending, and then a neutral zone where there is some uncertainty as to what we'll do or where we'll go, and finally, of course, a new beginning. Endings are hard and painful, especially when you're leaving, as I am, something you love. I am not too much on that middle ground either because uncertainty is not always comfortable. Fortunately, I have some ideas for new beginnings that excite me and keep me going through this period.

Another author I'm thinking a lot about these days is Erik Erickson. He was among the first psychologists who believed that people keep developing or evolving throughout their lifetimes. He suggested seven stages exist in our lives, and that each stage had a task that needed to be accomplished in order to move on to the next stage.

Erickson would call the "mature years" — for example, the years I have spent at UC Davis — a time of "generativity." This is a time for giving to others, showing the world what we have gained during our life. All of you, whether through workshops, brown bags, these articles, departmental meetings, or one-to-one appointments have helped me to accomplish this task. Along the way you have always given me the feedback and encouragement that has helped me grow.

As it turns out, my assistant Pam Carroll is leaving UC Davis at the same time I am. The good news is that we are leaving ASAP in highly competent and caring hands. Beth Cohen, our current clinical director, will be the interim director in January — she will also be writing this column in the future. In her ASAP duties, Cohen will be assisted by Terri Hiroshima-Chan and Alice Provost, as well as our interns.

When I discussed my retirement with my boss, he asked me, "How do you want to leave?" And, what kind of party did I want? This is one thing on which I am very clear. I do not want speeches and I do not want gifts. I want a chance to say goodbye to all of you and gather up as many hugs as possible before I leave.

I invite you all to join me from 3 to 6 p.m. on Tuesday, Dec. 19, in the ARC Ballroom B. We will enjoy tea, cake and hugs. I hope you mark it on your calendars — I look forward to saying a personal goodbye to as many of you as I can. I would also like you to meet the rest of the new ASAP staff so you still feel comfortable making use of our unit. Remember, if a need arises, call us at 752-2727.

Sally Harvey is the director of the Academic and Staff Assistance Program. For more information, visit www.hr.ucdavis.edu/ASAP.